"But the LORD hurled a great wind upon the sea, and there was a mighty tempest on the sea..."
Pastor Tullian Tchivdjian in Surprised By Grace states, "Would it have been better for Jonah if God had left him alone? No, it would have been far worse. It was an act of mercy for God to send the storm." We normally do not see the storms in our life as an act of mercy but this is exactly what my Savior is showing me.
The last 6 months has been filled with ups and downs, which took me to places that I had never experienced before. The reason for the ups and downs…disobedience. Jonah's story had disobedience also.
- A couple differences between Jonah & I:
- Jonah immediately disobeyed God’s command. I fought with God over a period of time BUT the bottom line is disobedience is disobedience
- Jonah fled physically from God. My fleeing came without me ever leaving where we had lived for 13 years.
God sent my family to NC in 1999 as missionaries. Our church in VA sent us with their blessing to an area where we knew no one. Throughout those 13 years, my family was blessed to work with independent Christian bands (some who have even gone on to bigger things) and see God move in many ways. One was my own salvation.
We became active members of a local church body & other ministries in our area. My duties included Sunday morning bible study teacher, media director, deaconess, teacher for CCF, leadership in a prayer group, & GROW Team member to name a few. During these years, I was blessed to work at two different Christian retail stores & coordinate multiple Christian events.
Then one day, my darling sweet hubby came to me and said, "God wants us to move."
My response, "Are you kidding?" We were settled and God was using us for ministry. The thought of asking God to confirm what Sweetie said was the furthest thing from my mind. Without my knowledge this began my fleeing from God spiritually.
The descent and arguing (yes, I was dumb enough to argue with God) would get deeper every time God would ask me to remove something from my plate. Our conversations would be along the lines of “Ok God! You want me to remove something. I can’t stop teaching the college & career…media, no not that.” The discussion would end up with me saying, “There is nothing on my plate that is not of You; therefore, I can’t remove anything.”
Each time God and I had this little discussion, unbeknownst to me, my shovel came out. Pastor Tullian’s book reminded me of this. Awhile back, I asked God why do we end up in a pit? The shocker is when my Savior (who loves me more than anyone else) quietly said, “My daughter, look who is holding the shovel.”
Needless to say, this blogger is one of God’s more stubborn children and it took a major crisis and a ‘great’ fear to get my obedience to His simple request given to my Sweetie, “It is time to move.” My prayer is this stubborn child will not be so stubborn in the future.
Even with all that has happened, as I continue my walk with Jesus, I will hold firm to the fact that Jesus has my best interest at heart. He knows what I need not just what I want. My prayer is that I will want what I need.
"The hardness of God is kinder than the softness of man, and His compulsion is our liberation"