This is a continuation of the posts I will be writing, while participating in the "15 Habits of Great Writers" Challenge.
Day Three required us to write a secret filling in the following: “I am a ______”. Then we are to pull it out everyday and read it. The object of the exercise is for us to choose ourselves. (Jeff admits this exercise could sound a little hokey to some.) Nonetheless, the idea’s premise is we have the tendency to choose everyone else in our lives and never choose ourselves.
We put what we need on the back burner. Confession: I do have a tendency to do this but am getting much better. Long story short, we went through some major adjustments in the last seven months including me having a total hysterectomy on May 2nd (my birthday) requiring 6 weeks of recovery. During this time, I have come to realize that my identity is not in what I do but in whom I belong.
Before, we moved last October my life consisted of being a business owner, deaconess, bible study teacher, CBS assistant teaching director trainee, GROW Team Volunteer, and church media director. Also, don’t forget Child of God. We attended church three times a week. Sometimes more, if there were events or ministries we participated in meeting such as, Ladies Fellowship or GROW team. In one year, I had planned or participated in a College & Career Conference, Ladies Retreat Planning, VBS, and a youth mission camp.
Please hear this:
It was never expected of me by my church leadership to do all these things. The pressure was from myself. At the time, I thought I was being obedient and serving the Lord in all of these positions.
Then an incident happened that totally crumbled my world. What happened is not the point. Even how others or I reacted to the situation is not the point. Why it happened is the important part: Disobedience.
Then God started to reveal things to me after He had removed everything:
- God requires obedience (He may let us walk in disobedience for a time but there will be consequences)
- We are not the only ones hurt in our disobedience
- There are things that can you can do to cause people's feelings for you to change...even if neither party wants to admit it
- Participating in church activities does not reveal or confirm our identity in Christ
- I don't have to be at the church every time the doors are open
- I am susceptible to being to deceived
- I am a witness for Christ
- God does not want me overworked, stressed out and frazzled
- God gave me my marriage
- My husband & daughter truly love me unconditionally
I was finding my identity in these activities instead of my relationship with Christ. I am not telling everyone to quit their involvement in their local church. What I am asking of you is to search your heart and see why you are doing the activities?